At the EU-China summit in July 2025 President Costa made the following remarks:
“We are committed to deepening our bilateral partnership and pursuing constructive and stable relations, anchored in respect for the rules-based international order, balanced engagement and reciprocity.”
The truth is that the writing was on the wall long before this, at the time of the Euro crisis in 2011-12, as the following transcript of a meeting in Brussels during that crisis shows. It has, for reasons that will become obvious, up to now been suppressed. But this hitherto secret recording was made by one of the delegates among which were many familiar former prime ministers of various EU countries. NB Rumpy Pumpy is Herman Van Rompuy, the first permanent President of the European Council from 2009 to 2014; and who was unkindly referred to by Nigel Farage as having “all the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk” and who was said to relax by composing haiku in Flemish.
Scene: Heads of State Meeting to resolve the crisis in Euroland.
The Euroland President, that great and inspirational leader, in a speech worthy of Adolf Hitler at a Nuremburg rally is whipping the audience into a frenzy of enthusiasm and urging the assembled Prime Ministers and Presidents of EU states to work together and take bold decisions.
Rumpy-Pumpy: Er….. we should take into consideration paragraph 2 sub section 32 of the Lisbon Treaty in framing our discourse, and …. ummm.. perhaps errr…. pull together…..
Angela Merkel: Nein! We Germans are heartily fed up with all this nonsense. We always end up paying the bill.
David Cameron: We are not going to pay either, we’re not even part of Euroland!
Rumpy Pumpy: Oh, dear I feel the need to compose a calming haiku in Flemish.
Berlusconi: You Mr President are, as we say in Italian, ‘Un buffone ridicolo ‘
General laughter.
Rumpy Pumpy: You are being horrid to little me. Anyway, I have a plan … so there!
Sarko: I suppose you mean that we need to amend the Treaty of Maastricht Appendix XVII, paragraph 453, subparagraph 22, clause 14(b)i. line 2, 4th word from ‘and’ to ‘but’
Rumpy Pumpy: How did you know???!
Sarko: I looked at your notes over your shoulder! And it’s just the kind of pathetic plan you would have.
Rumpy Pumpy: But ………I have written a haiku which will solve everything:
O clausule 2 lid 3 van het Verdrag
Hoe mooi je bent
In het najaar
De lentebloesem zal binnenkort te versieren
At this moment there is loud knocking at the door. A Chinese delegation strides into the room.
President Hu (the then leader of China) – through an interpreter: So, you useless foreign devils! Listen!
Rumpy Pumpy: At last, someone I can discuss haiku with.
Sarko: Idiot, le haiku c’est japonais pas chinois
Rumpy Pumpy: Oh!
President Hu: We want to show our solidarity with the suffering peoples of Europe by supporting the countries in trouble.
Angela Merkel: About time someone else did something not just us Germans. What do you propose?
President Hu: We are going to buy Ireland, Greece and Portugal for a start. We need some low wage countries to manufacture goods in the EU.
Angela Merkel: Germany votes in favour.
David Cameron: Britain too
Sarko: D’accord
Berlusconi: I sella you da Italia too!
Rumpy Pumpy: What about Belgium?
President Hu: Where that? I have never heard of it. OK, if we work on the basis of buy three get one free, we’ll have that one too.
Rumpy Pumpy: But what about the European Union and Euroland?
President Hu: We’ll buy the rest later, but those will do for the time being.
Rumpy Pumpy: No, I mean what will happen to them?
President Hu: 你可笑的小傻瓜!!!! (try Google Translate)
Rumpy Pumpy: What does that mean?
Interpreter: It means that the President compliments you on your wisdom.
President Hu: And by the way each country will become a province of China with Chinese names.
Rumpy Pumpy: What will those be, sir?
President Hu: Your country will be called 白痴國 (if in doubt try Google Translate)
Interpreter (tactfully): The names are not yet agreed.
And so it was that most of Europe became China; and each county was allocated an industry. Belgium was instructed to make little umbrellas for cocktails and Rumpy Pumpy was made supervisor of the cocktail stick production facility working 18 hours a day, where he had no time to compose haiku.
All about investment funds 